Thursday, September 9, 2010

Mum Loved: Summer

For some reason this month, I'm finding it harder than usual to accept Summer's gradual exit. I'm notoriously an Autumn girl. I adore Fall clothing, sports and the crispness that the air brings. Suntanning and perspiring profusely top my list of pet-hates. I actually begrudge the odd bit of tan that I do have - obtained by daily walks with my dog - being pale is what I *do*. But this year, I let all the goodness of Summer wash over me. I couldn't get enough - I finally made it my friend. 

I think the main reason for my brief sojourn into Summer bliss is down to my Mum. She loved the warmth of these months. She would spend hour upon hour in her beautiful garden, tending to its every minute need. Perhaps I was channeling her joy of the season in an attempt to feel her presence?

Mum's passing in March meant that she'd never get to prolong her love affair with the Summer. The fact that she was robbed of this small pleasure breaks my heart. She would have been so thrilled with the heat, and made due with the lack of rain. Summer last year she spent primarily in hospital, and once she came home, Mother Nature decided to give us a lukewarm August - definitely nothing to get excited about. 

A part of me thinks that perhaps this year, Mum pulled Mother Nature aside and told her to create a Summer that would make her proud - one that would get her loved ones outside, into the fresh air - and away from being stuck indoors feeling melancholy and alone. It's true that a sunny, warm day does raise the spirits - it doesn't erase the pain of missing someone so badly, but it does make you feel a little bit more peaceful and happy... even if it's for just a short spell.

The fountains and reflecting pools at our neighbourhood reservoir park are no longer flowing. I actually had to wear a sweater *and* a jacket for my afternoon trek with my dog today. Without a doubt, Summer is taking its leave, and it hurts this time more than ever. 


Darren said...

I think that's exactly it J - so many walks with puppy dog, so many chances to sit on my favorite bench and look up into the sky to say 'Love You Maple Mum'.

Gonna miss this summer terribly, here's hoping for a bright and crisp Autumn

DarrenT said...

I know exactly where your coming from Jackie, my mum also loved the summer, feeling the sun on her body made her happy, and she spent many happy afternoons playing outside on the grass with my children.

The feelings you mention i can echo, i know when mum became ill last autumn, i said to myself that she would never see another summer, and unfortunately i was right, the weather was just starting to improve a little when we lost her at the end of March.

Seeing another summer go, will simply be heart breaking, one where we have all suffered so much pain.

Jackie said...

DarrenT, thanks for sharing your thoughts. This past summer will be one unlike any other. I just wish it was more noteworthy for being a gorgeous stretch of warm weather than what our Mums were missing - just makes us miss her more.