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Take movies for instance... most motion pictures created for the holiday season are full of warm remembrances, love-filled reunions and clarity of thought -- all subjects that are difficult to embrace when you're missing someone who you will never see again.As much as it feels out of character, I've chosen to avoid some of my usual December celluloid picks ("One Magic Christmas", "The Homecoming", "The Christmas Box", and "Little Women" - the Liz Taylor version, Mum's favourite) because I'm just too raw for their stories right now. And let's not forget the animated Rankin & Bass classics - they're even more of an emotional minefield ("Nestor the Long Earred Donkey", anyone? "Ears, Nestor.").
The common thread in all these movies: their themes, all so beautiful and moving... and yes, I watched them all with my Mum. She loved each and every one of them. Atop of my avoid-at-all-costs TV viewing list is "The Family Stone". The last part of the story, after all the hilarity and family hi-jinx... well, if you've seen this funny yet touching film, you'll know why. The tree decorating scene at the end... heartbreaking, and right now too close to home.
So for this year while I *try* my best to partake and honour Christmas like my Mum would want me to, I'm sticking within the cinematic safety zone of Will Ferrell's "Elf" and "Love Actually." I'm not sure yet how I will fare with these flicks. I'm a big softie, and can cry at just about anything. Yes, I have been known to tear up during both of these favourites, but at least I'm hoping that I'll be able to stir clear of a full-fledged waterfall. I can't promise, but I'll try.
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My mom passed away five years ago, right before Christmas (Dec. 16). She died of cancer. I had some amazing friends that were in town trying to support me, and we decided to go to a movie. "The Family Stone" had just come out, and (obviously) none of us knew anything about it. Of course, the ending came out of virtually nowhere, and I was just sitting in the theater crying and crying, and my poor two friends were on either side of me, feeling very uncomfortable and like the worst friends in the world. Finally, after the credits were over, I said - "Okay, worst Christmas movie EVER!" and we all started cracking up through our tears.
It is still a very sad movie, and I still cry when I see it. But somehow, the memory of my poor friends trying to cheer me up and failing so miserably makes me laugh out loud, too. We still sort of "joke" about it to this day.
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