Mum Loved: Sex and the City

One of the many joys I had with my Mum was sharing our favourite television programs and movies. The one problem, however, is that Mum was always busy doing *something* -- toiling away in her garden, tending to her beloved dogs, baking -- and was hard to pin down. Getting her to sit and relax was a hard sell. 


But when we did hit upon a gem of an entertainment nugget where she would stop and chill in front of the TV, it was simply brilliant. One such experience revolved around every gal's favourite quartet of girlfriends in 'Sex and the City.' 


Mum didn't watch the series during its first TV run but we managed to get her all caught up via DVDs and its upteenth airing of repeats. Mum loved it! She adored the girly chat, the crazy situations they managed to find themselves entangled in, and of course, Mr. Big. She thought he was mighty fine and was so thrilled when Carrie eventually ended up happily ever after (at least at the conclusion of the first SATC flick) with her Manhattan prince. 


At times I thought that the more risque language and adventures (looking at you, Samantha Jones!) might have been a bit much for Mum - she was such a polite, private  woman - but it was silly to worry. Mum would laugh hysterically at their hi-jinx, never ever having an issue with any part of the show. And that's just like Mum. Just when I thought that I knew her fully, she would manage to surprise me. 


The much anticipated second 'Sex and the City' movie opens this week. I will be going, and thinking of how much Mum would have loved it. 

Coping: Dido's Safe Trip Home

When you've suffered a life changing loss, it seems at times that you are all alone in your pain, that the rest of the world is spinning along oblivious. Everyone seems on track, happy...and it's hard to watch when you feel like the bottom has fallen out of your universe.


Sometimes it feels good to delve into a medium where your emotions are mirrored and I think that I've found some solace from Dido's most recent album, 'Safe Trip Home.' I originally purchased it back when it first came out - fall of 2008 - since I own her previous release and would call myself somewhat of a fan albeit a lapse one. The tone of 'Safe Trip Home' is somewhat sombre with lyrics that tell of a deep loss and the struggle to continue on despite it. At the time I had read that Dido wrote the album following the death of her beloved father and for no reason that I can explain at the time, I really didn't play it much. Maybe it was too raw for me as in late 2008 I wasn't in a similar situation... everyone was healthy, Christmas was coming, my thoughts were on a more upbeat plane, perhaps.


Now a year and a half later, I was playing my iPod before nodding off to sleep the other night, and scrolled through my 5,000+ songs and found 'Safe Trip Home' once again. It was a revelation...it struck a powerful cord prompting tears & a more profound sadness, but for a spell I didn't feel like I was all alone in my grief. Someone knew exactly what I was feeling. I just wish that I could tell Dido 'thank you' for 'Summer', 'The Day Before the Day', 'Quiet Times' and the rest. Gorgeous.

Book: My Mother's Clothes

Recently while I was procrastinating about work & taking refuge in Facebook, a friend happened to mention a new book that she found fascinating & incredibly moving...and I did too.


'My Mother's Clothes: An Album of Memories' lovingly written & compiled by Jeannette Montgomery Barron (published by Welcome Books) is a treasure trove of prized clothing, shoes and accessories -- the wardrobe of a lifetime, all belonging to Montgomery Barron's dear Mother, Eleanor. 



The project began as a way for Montgomery Barron to share her Mother's memories, recollections that were fading as her Mom's ability to remember began to fail. Each piece of clothing sparked a story, a feeling, a timeless account -- and as her photographs captured for posterity her Mother's fashions, Montgomery Barron discovered more & more intriguing anecdotes about her Mother's life. 

Milestone: Mother's Day

Sunday, May 9 is Mother's Day in Canada, the US and Australia. 


For several weeks, I've been avoiding the abundance of Mother's Day shop displays at all costs. For a daughter who year after year loved & participated in this annual tribute to our Mums, it's a strange reaction to have. 


It feels foreign. It feels wrong. I feel like an orphan while everyone else celebrates this meaningful occasion. 


I'm on the cusp of the two month mark. The approach of Mother's Day is making my sadness & loneliness feel even more raw - if that's at all possible. I feel like an outsider looking in on a beloved milestone that was always a highlight on my calendar. 

Inspiration: Joannie Rochette

One of the most emotional stories to come out of this year's Vancouver Winter Olympic Games, involved Canadian figure skater, Joannie Rochette. 


The six-time Canadian women's champion, Joannie is known for her engaging manner, and her graceful yet athletic skating style. With the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in her home country, Joannie was in the fortunate position to compete for an Olympic medal with her family, friends & fellow Canadians all in her 'backyard' cheering her on in full force. 


But two days before her first skate in the women's short program, Joannie suffered an insurmountable personal tragedy. Joannie's constant companion and best friend, her mom Therese died from a sudden heart attack. 


Joannie's life was changed forever.

Mum Loved: Tom Jones

To say that I'm a major music geek is a bit of an understatement. I've been to concerts both at home and abroad in the triple digits, own hundreds of CDs and have an iPod stuffed to the gills with songs & music videos. I've come by my love of music honestly. You could say that a passion for music was in my genes ~ my Mum always had her favourites too. 


As a wee kid in the '70s, I remember my parents and their friends traveling downtown to catch a certain famous Welshman, Mr. Tom Jones in concert.

Coping: Comfort Eating

You often hear stories of people in the midst of great stress, be it a job-loss, marriage breakdown or death of a loved one, unable to eat. No appetite, no will to nosh...and as the upset over their loss continues, they get skinnier and skinnier...


I am not that person.
I'm the opposite. I cannot stop eating.


It wouldn't be such a bad thing if I was filling the void that I feel with vibrant green leafy things.


Nope. Not even close. Healthy nourishment is not on the menu right now. Grease, sugar and carbs are my best friends offering comfort like nothing else. During the first week without Mum, there was this amazing salad prepared, a symphony of different lettuces mixed with a rainbow of bell peppers, crunchy walnuts, mellow cheese, tart Granny Smith apple slices... it was GORGEOUS.

Milestone: First Birthday

Friends and family much wiser and more experienced than me have hesitantly (and yet, very kindly) told me that the first year after losing your Mum is the most difficult. True to their words I am finding that daily living is proving to be wearisome, fraught with anxiety and melancholy emotions. The reality of not having my Mum a telephone call away pops into my mind repeatedly again and again...and again. Just getting through the day is a job in itself -- a job that I never, ever wanted to occupy, but yet here I am....


The arrival of holidays, anniversaries and annual special events are usually to be looked forward to, the highlights of the year, right? Unfortunately, I am now part of the club that realizes that they bring with them a unique disquiet and pain that the daily grind doesn't recognize. Many of us spend these earmarks in the company of loved ones, and the concept of such occasions without them is just too much to even consider.


My first major event without Mum... my birthday, snuck up on me this past week. 

The Heart Does Break

After my Mum passed away this March, I didn't have it in me to do much of anything... I was too numb or in a flurry of tears. My long running blog, Lose That Girl, was the least of my worries but fears of my readers mistakenly thinking that my pop culture playroom had become abandoned got the best of me. Here's my first baby steps at writing again as originally posted on Lose That Girl two weeks ago...

Hello... faithful readers & occasional visitors.

I'm so sorry to have disappeared quite suddenly a few weeks back (I must thank Blogger's automatic posting feature for making it appear somewhat that I was *here*). It's not in my nature to just *vanish* -- since I typically hang out here each & every day for a spell, and I feel my absence should be addressed ever so briefly.

I tend to keep my most personal moments private & refrain from writing about them on my site but life as I have known it -- forever -- has changed drastically for me. My beloved Mum died almost three weeks ago after a year long battle with lung cancer. My family & I are devastated and the painful process of resurfacing to our "normal" lives is proving difficult. "Normal" will now be forever changed and I think it might take awhile for us to all find our way. I haven't had the heart to write since, but I'm hoping that this first post back on the other side of normal might help me find the path that I had started...

The most routine tasks are tough right now, and I'm not shy in saying that I'm looking for solace...somewhere, anywhere. I have been trying to read a new book called 'The Heart Does Break: Canadian Writers on Grief and Mourning' compiled by Jean Baird and George Bowering (published by Random House). It's a collection of personal recollections of renowned authors on the loss of a loved one. It's painful to read and I can see my own situation mirrored in the prose, especially within the moving "Her Great Art" by Jill Frayne about her wonderful mother, June Callwood. Frayne writes, "we're different without her...June was the centre and every distance out from her has shifted, every axis on a new tilt...I'm a different woman with my mother gone. Less brave, more ordinary. If this is grief, it feels like vertigo, a kind of motion sickness. I'm making myself over, without my mother. Now that she doesn't call me, or put flowers in my room, or settle an appraising eye on me, I'm not who I was...".

It's too early to say whether this book will help me deal, but at least it makes me feel like I'm not alone in feeling so lost right now.

I'm hoping to find it in me to post more regularly soon - at least Blogger's automatic posting function will make it seem so. :)

** originally published on my pop culture blog, Lose That Girl **

Welcome...

We may hail from different countries, practice differing cultures & religions, but unfortunately we are all bound together by the devastation that descends upon us when a cherished loved one dies.

The passing of my mother has been by far the most crushing loss that I've ever experienced. I'm hoping that this blog may help me cope, and come to terms with the rollercoaster ride of emotions that I'm feeling day in, day out.


Experts, friends...everyone says that the first year is the most difficult. For once I'm embarking on a journey that I'm not fully prepared for. Even as an adult, my Mum was the person that I'd turn to when uncertainty reigned. Now that she's gone, I'm feeling adrift - it's the most unsettling feeling.